Sometimes there are little glimpses of light and hope that appear.  Like the birth of a new baby.  To see how precious and fragile life is, is breath taking.

Three years ago, I wrote in my journal,

I do not see why I have so much pain, anger and guilt. I can no longer take it. I hated my counselling session today.  I hate it when she tells me to kind to myself.  How can I be kind.  Then she expects me to have a snack with her. I am not good enough for food. I cannot bare the feeling of having food in my. I hate myself. I hate those who have hurt me, I hate the voices that say I am no good.  I have no control, this is too much…

You can imagine how that finished…  With me calling the crisis line, because I was too scared to go to the hospital.  I do not know who I was talking to, but that lady has a heart of gold.  She stayed with me on the phone for two hours.

Until a few weeks ago, I was still trying to grasp the fragile state of life.  I have been blessed to be able to meet a new member of my family.  Until I first saw this (not so tiny) person lying there, I could not comprehend what a life is.  Her hands and feet are so small.  There are endless possibilities.  I cannot put into words what I define life as.  It has to be the most precious gift that anyone can give to us.

February 1 to 7th is Eating Disorder Awareness week.

Those with eating disorders typically have other mental health conditions as well.  The concept of life may not exist for them.  Be kind, be patient.  It will come.